Love and Serve the Lord

Love and Serve the Lord
Middle school—a daunting mountain one must climb. Adolescents in the peak of insecurity. Bullies at their most vicious. For a heavy child this mountain seemed even steeper and more treacherous. Nicknames like Pillsbury doughboy and Fat Boy not-so-Slim, a satire on a popular music group, made attendance at school a battle that I struggled with daily. That is until one day. The bell rang for lunch and as we walked toward the lunch room one of my constant hecklers cut me off. I shoved him back as I moved alongside him proclaiming, “Never get between a fat man and his food.” To my surprise he staggered back into the sea of students as I heard him laughing. I had discovered a tool that would become a major part of my young adult life, comedy.

I continued along my path using humor to diffuse unfavorable situations. The more effective this tool became, the more I would be glued to stand up comedy on TV or CDs. I became a well-versed fan of standup comedy new and old. Quickly I became known for rattling off comedy routines verbatim from a variety of comedians spanning from the wholesome family/childhood humor of Bill Cosby, to the edgy/drug induced one liners of the late Mitch Hedberg. As I got into high school I discovered one of my all-time favorite comedians on a CD entitled Harmful If Swallowed. This is the first album by one of America’s most popular comics today, Dane Cook. I listened to that CD so frequently that I could recite it from start to finish with the proper pauses and voice inflections. It got to the point where my friends would have to ask if the jokes I told where really mine or Dane’s. Finally, after being a die-hard Cook fan for several years I learned that he would be coming to Minneapolis. I purchased tickets as soon as they went on sale. In 2007 the day after Thanksgiving I attended the show that inspired me to shift away from performing others’ material in small social settings to performing my own material on stage.

I began to think about the endeavor I was about to undertake. It was a rather discomforting feeling. I had material written down, but had kept it closely guarded. This meant that I was not just tackling performing for strangers, but also that I would be trying out completely untested material. I knew that I had a long way to go before I would feel ready to be in front of the crowd.

I began to work tirelessly on developing material by observing everyday life. As usual, I sent my parents an electronic copy of my Christmas list; full of not stores but hyperlinks. Two items on this year’s list were books, an item I rarely asked for, Stand-Up Comedy and The Comic Toolbox. As my family sat around the tree on Christmas morning I opened the package containing these two books. I thanked my parents who were thrilled that I wanted to read, but also inquired as to why I chose these books in particular. This was a dreadful moment. As I explained that I was preparing to attempt standup comedy, I remembered how lucky I was to have parents who support me in whatever I want to do. They embraced the idea responding that they always knew I had a flair for the performing arts and that my ability to make all ages laugh would surely lead to success. I had jumped the first hurdle in an eternal race. Now that I had support it was time to prepare for the first show.

We boarded the plane for a family trip to Cancun, Mexico; a working vacation for me to say the least. My first show, a choir retreat talent show, was looming less than a month away. I spent much of the trip writing material and reading the books about essentials for successful comedians. I continued to observe everyone and everything. The customs, the world travelers, the wait staff all became ammo in my arsenal. I comprised a set full of material about Catholics, college, and friends. Sitting on our patio I dictated the jokes to myself as though I was amongst my friends on a festive Friday night. I did this routine several times searching for rhythm, new deliveries, and transitions. After typing out several varieties of the routine, I decided I needed to find a more realistic way to practice, but where? I could not do it in the room because my family had gone to bed. Eventually I decided to go on a walk around the resort to find a place where I could be alone. Grabbing my comedy folder I exited the room at roughly 2 am. Immediately I was drawn to the water. I walked out on to the beach and began pacing not far from a staggering crowd of eighteen year olds reveling in their ability to drink in Mexico. As I ran the routine something still felt unauthentic. I was without a microphone. I looked around the beach for something that could serve to occupy my hand. While I couldn’t find anything to resemble a microphone, I did happen upon a coconut. Close enough. A night watchman patrolled the shore and shooed the high schoolers off the closed beach. I was sure I was next, but he walked right past me and continued along the beach. Surely he did not want to confront the deranged man talking to a coconut.

The day of my show was quickly approaching as students returned to the campus after winter break. I was getting excited and kept informing my friends that I intended to perform at the choir retreat. Just as I was finally beginning to see that this was really going to happen, I received an email from the choral director stating that due to insufficient funds the retreat would be held at St. John’s and would now be just a rehearsal. The wind raced out of my sails leaving me dejected. Doubts began to run through my head. Would I ever get a chance to perform my comedy? Just as I thought all opportunities had eluded me, my friend informed me about open mic at O’Connell’s on Monday nights.

My name was on the set list for February 18th, 2008. I was nervous as I prepared to perform my 15 minute set regarding Catholics entitled “Love and Serve the Lord”. That day was a combination of stomach churning and rehearsing. At 7:15 I proceeded to the Benedicta Arts Center and practice room A-30. I ran the routine in the mirror once and then played piano to take my mind off the show for a while. As 7:50 pm hit I knew it was time to head over to O’Connell’s. I turned my Ipod to the Rocky Theme music and walked for what seemed like an eternity. Upon entering O’Connell’s I was overcome with emotion and became increasingly nervous as I saw roughly fifty of my friends and an additional 50 or so others. Most comedians get their debut in front of four drunks at 3:00 am. I had a chance here to make several immediate fans or critics. I took the stage at 8:01 pm to the sounds of chatter and looks of confusion. I was the first non-musician to perform at open mic in at least four years according to the student manager. The set started off slow, but I did not panic. Confident in my material, I plugged through the first joke. My second premise entitled “Leaving Early” was a breakthrough. I had locked into the crowd and they were onboard. Once the first huge laugh roared through the crowd adrenaline took over and I was flying on autopilot the rest of the show.

Ending with a bang I hustled off the stage and immediately sought refuge in my congregation of friends. They assured me that my routine was a complete success. As I ventured to the bar to quench my thirst, with the now traditional post show skim iced chai, several people stopped me to say they enjoyed the show. Some I knew. Most I did not. When I made it to the back counter the employee rejected my valedine citing her laughter during the set as my means of payment. As I grabbed a straw a girl came up to me and said, “Excuse me I just have to say, I was going to work on homework in McGlynn’s and as I walked by I heard your joke about the parking lot and had to come hear the rest of the show.” It was at this point that I knew I was doing something special.

Comedy continues to play an important role in my life. This show sparked a train of comedy events. Since, I have performed at two more open mic nights on campus, hosted a concert on Scholarship and Creativity Day, and performed my first set in front of a genuine comedy audience and other comedians through open mic night at the Joke Joint in Bloomington. I also was just informed by Student Activities Leadership and Development that I will be opening for a comic who was featured on NBC’s hit show Last Comic Standing in January. As my comedy résumé continues to grow, I cannot help but remind myself that none of it would be possible if not for that show on February 18th, 2008.

persuasive essay

History is the One Subject in Which the More People Learn the Dumber they Get

Martin Luther King Jr. was a plagiarizer and a womanizer. Christopher Columbus was a rapist. Helen Keller was a communist. These statements strike a sense of uneasiness in many Americans. The perception of national historical figures having God-like status is as American as apple pie. This attitude can be observed in any primary or secondary U.S. history text or curriculum. The slanted perceptions of these iconic figures are not helping children acquire a realistic view of history.

Children receive a terribly unrealistic view regarding the formation of our nation. It is often said that we study history to avoid repeating it, but how can people learn if they are only given the sugar-coated history provided in schools today. Young children are told the miraculous story of Helen Keller. Deaf and blind she learns to speak. There is no doubt that this is a remarkable story. However, for most curriculums this is where the story ends completely ignoring 64 additional years in the life of a truly driven social activist. Her triumph in learning to speak is every bit as important as how she used this miracle later in her life. As she grew up she became a powerful voice in the camp for socialism in America. She even went so far as to write a letter of support to a leader of the communist movement in America who had been jailed. Few people hear this story. Why? Because portraying Keller as a communist would discredit her story of all-American triumph. To ignore her social activism is to condense her into a cloud figure—fluffy, passive, and someone all can look up at and say, “Wow. Look at how great that one is.” However, this woman in actuality was a maelstrom, tearing through the sky relentlessly and with reckless abandon. This is the Helen Keller American children should be made aware of.

Many, if not every, American who has attended school in this country can easily identify Martin Luther King Jr. as the leader of the Civil Rights Movement. He is portrayed as a model citizen who seemingly single-handedly combated the largest social injustice in this nation’s history. Few people are made aware of the many transgressions that have seeped out into a small portion of the general population. Martin Luther King Jr. was not only a great leader, but also a womanizer and plagiarizer. During the Civil Rights Movement it was not uncommon for the FBI to wire tap the phones of known leaders of groups pushing for social reform. King was no exception. According to Newsweek, through the wire taps the FBI discovered that Martin Luther King was engaged in several affairs while simultaneously leading the Movement. He has also recently been criticized by the Martin Luther King Jr. Papers Project for plagiarizing or improperly citing a substantial portion of his dissertation and other papers he wrote throughout graduate school. In many of these instances the flaws were pointed out to King who simply chose not to fix them. This fact was seemingly overlooked by the final graders of this work, but still shows a sense that he felt no need to take his superiors constructive criticisms. By any standards these are horrible transgressions. Bill Clinton was impeached for the same womanizing activity in the oval office and a student would be expelled for committing the same academic fraud. Many argue that this side of King is not taught in our schools for a number of reasons. Primarily the fact that it would tarnish his iconic image and the legacy he left our country. The reason for teaching the great leaders in school is partially an effort to inspire students to strive for greatness. When a character is made to seem free of moral transgressions they are seen as inhuman, but in light of this other information one can see that King was not without fault and children can more easily identify with him. If he is portrayed as having unattainable status one gets the impression that there will never be another Dr. King. By being able to relate to King one can begin to see that they themselves can rise up and achieve greatness just as he did.

Opponents of introducing alternative viewpoints into the curriculum have largely contested on the grounds of student’s maturity levels. They argue that students even in high school are not ready to handle the topics that would come into play. They question how you could possibly teach middle school students that Christopher Columbus was well- known among the Natives for raping their women and spreading sexual diseases throughout their tribes. The answer of how to present this information simply lies in the presentation of the material. I would agree that in middle school, when Columbus is most thoroughly covered, most students would not be ready to comprehend the concept of rape. However, if you look at the disease element and do not discuss that it was spread through rape, this controversy is now contained within the realm of their maturity. The key is not that all transgressions need to be presented. However, there needs to be some check on the patriotic rhetoric that would allow students to open their minds to the idea that with prominent historical figures like in the world, there is no clear black and white, but rather a full spectrum of gray.

When asking students to rank their favorite subjects, history is almost always towards the bottom of the ranks; a fact presented in Lies My Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen. The number one reason, it’s boring. This is largely due to the fact that the textbooks and curriculum that students are following are full of romanticized characters and feel-good stories about the birth of a great nation. Children need to see that America has not had such a perfect history and nothing can be conquered without consequences. By presenting alternate viewpoints of great American figures and events students could gain an understanding of real American history and maybe even enjoy it in the process. Columbus came to America, met some natives, and ate a turkey. Do you want to know any more? Of course not. This is boring and without conflict or controversy. However, include that he brought disease and great oppression to the native people and suddenly students want to know more because now there is scandal. Unleash the fact that Vikings may have actually discovered the land even before Columbus and students are not only hooked, but also getting a global perspective on the history of this nation.