Love and Serve the Lord

Love and Serve the Lord
Middle school—a daunting mountain one must climb. Adolescents in the peak of insecurity. Bullies at their most vicious. For a heavy child this mountain seemed even steeper and more treacherous. Nicknames like Pillsbury doughboy and Fat Boy not-so-Slim, a satire on a popular music group, made attendance at school a battle that I struggled with daily. That is until one day. The bell rang for lunch and as we walked toward the lunch room one of my constant hecklers cut me off. I shoved him back as I moved alongside him proclaiming, “Never get between a fat man and his food.” To my surprise he staggered back into the sea of students as I heard him laughing. I had discovered a tool that would become a major part of my young adult life, comedy.

I continued along my path using humor to diffuse unfavorable situations. The more effective this tool became, the more I would be glued to stand up comedy on TV or CDs. I became a well-versed fan of standup comedy new and old. Quickly I became known for rattling off comedy routines verbatim from a variety of comedians spanning from the wholesome family/childhood humor of Bill Cosby, to the edgy/drug induced one liners of the late Mitch Hedberg. As I got into high school I discovered one of my all-time favorite comedians on a CD entitled Harmful If Swallowed. This is the first album by one of America’s most popular comics today, Dane Cook. I listened to that CD so frequently that I could recite it from start to finish with the proper pauses and voice inflections. It got to the point where my friends would have to ask if the jokes I told where really mine or Dane’s. Finally, after being a die-hard Cook fan for several years I learned that he would be coming to Minneapolis. I purchased tickets as soon as they went on sale. In 2007 the day after Thanksgiving I attended the show that inspired me to shift away from performing others’ material in small social settings to performing my own material on stage.

I began to think about the endeavor I was about to undertake. It was a rather discomforting feeling. I had material written down, but had kept it closely guarded. This meant that I was not just tackling performing for strangers, but also that I would be trying out completely untested material. I knew that I had a long way to go before I would feel ready to be in front of the crowd.

I began to work tirelessly on developing material by observing everyday life. As usual, I sent my parents an electronic copy of my Christmas list; full of not stores but hyperlinks. Two items on this year’s list were books, an item I rarely asked for, Stand-Up Comedy and The Comic Toolbox. As my family sat around the tree on Christmas morning I opened the package containing these two books. I thanked my parents who were thrilled that I wanted to read, but also inquired as to why I chose these books in particular. This was a dreadful moment. As I explained that I was preparing to attempt standup comedy, I remembered how lucky I was to have parents who support me in whatever I want to do. They embraced the idea responding that they always knew I had a flair for the performing arts and that my ability to make all ages laugh would surely lead to success. I had jumped the first hurdle in an eternal race. Now that I had support it was time to prepare for the first show.

We boarded the plane for a family trip to Cancun, Mexico; a working vacation for me to say the least. My first show, a choir retreat talent show, was looming less than a month away. I spent much of the trip writing material and reading the books about essentials for successful comedians. I continued to observe everyone and everything. The customs, the world travelers, the wait staff all became ammo in my arsenal. I comprised a set full of material about Catholics, college, and friends. Sitting on our patio I dictated the jokes to myself as though I was amongst my friends on a festive Friday night. I did this routine several times searching for rhythm, new deliveries, and transitions. After typing out several varieties of the routine, I decided I needed to find a more realistic way to practice, but where? I could not do it in the room because my family had gone to bed. Eventually I decided to go on a walk around the resort to find a place where I could be alone. Grabbing my comedy folder I exited the room at roughly 2 am. Immediately I was drawn to the water. I walked out on to the beach and began pacing not far from a staggering crowd of eighteen year olds reveling in their ability to drink in Mexico. As I ran the routine something still felt unauthentic. I was without a microphone. I looked around the beach for something that could serve to occupy my hand. While I couldn’t find anything to resemble a microphone, I did happen upon a coconut. Close enough. A night watchman patrolled the shore and shooed the high schoolers off the closed beach. I was sure I was next, but he walked right past me and continued along the beach. Surely he did not want to confront the deranged man talking to a coconut.

The day of my show was quickly approaching as students returned to the campus after winter break. I was getting excited and kept informing my friends that I intended to perform at the choir retreat. Just as I was finally beginning to see that this was really going to happen, I received an email from the choral director stating that due to insufficient funds the retreat would be held at St. John’s and would now be just a rehearsal. The wind raced out of my sails leaving me dejected. Doubts began to run through my head. Would I ever get a chance to perform my comedy? Just as I thought all opportunities had eluded me, my friend informed me about open mic at O’Connell’s on Monday nights.

My name was on the set list for February 18th, 2008. I was nervous as I prepared to perform my 15 minute set regarding Catholics entitled “Love and Serve the Lord”. That day was a combination of stomach churning and rehearsing. At 7:15 I proceeded to the Benedicta Arts Center and practice room A-30. I ran the routine in the mirror once and then played piano to take my mind off the show for a while. As 7:50 pm hit I knew it was time to head over to O’Connell’s. I turned my Ipod to the Rocky Theme music and walked for what seemed like an eternity. Upon entering O’Connell’s I was overcome with emotion and became increasingly nervous as I saw roughly fifty of my friends and an additional 50 or so others. Most comedians get their debut in front of four drunks at 3:00 am. I had a chance here to make several immediate fans or critics. I took the stage at 8:01 pm to the sounds of chatter and looks of confusion. I was the first non-musician to perform at open mic in at least four years according to the student manager. The set started off slow, but I did not panic. Confident in my material, I plugged through the first joke. My second premise entitled “Leaving Early” was a breakthrough. I had locked into the crowd and they were onboard. Once the first huge laugh roared through the crowd adrenaline took over and I was flying on autopilot the rest of the show.

Ending with a bang I hustled off the stage and immediately sought refuge in my congregation of friends. They assured me that my routine was a complete success. As I ventured to the bar to quench my thirst, with the now traditional post show skim iced chai, several people stopped me to say they enjoyed the show. Some I knew. Most I did not. When I made it to the back counter the employee rejected my valedine citing her laughter during the set as my means of payment. As I grabbed a straw a girl came up to me and said, “Excuse me I just have to say, I was going to work on homework in McGlynn’s and as I walked by I heard your joke about the parking lot and had to come hear the rest of the show.” It was at this point that I knew I was doing something special.

Comedy continues to play an important role in my life. This show sparked a train of comedy events. Since, I have performed at two more open mic nights on campus, hosted a concert on Scholarship and Creativity Day, and performed my first set in front of a genuine comedy audience and other comedians through open mic night at the Joke Joint in Bloomington. I also was just informed by Student Activities Leadership and Development that I will be opening for a comic who was featured on NBC’s hit show Last Comic Standing in January. As my comedy résumé continues to grow, I cannot help but remind myself that none of it would be possible if not for that show on February 18th, 2008.